How do you respond when he says he doesn’t love you anymore?

We had just celebrated our sixth anniversary when my husband looked at me and said, “I’m not sure I still love you and I don’t think I want to be married anymore.” My world fell apart! How could this be?

My husband and I were high school sweethearts and married during the middle of our senior year in college. While most people say the first year of marriage is extremely hard, we fell into it as if it were the easiest thing in the world. We graduated, started our careers, bought a house, had a baby and life was good…or so I thought!

I soon discovered there was another woman. My husband went through a full rebellion and before I knew it I was living with a complete stranger. So began many months of crying, pleading, and manipulating, strategies that had served me well in the past.

One evening when I was especially broken, feeling entirely rejected I got on my knees again and begged God to heal my marriage. As I knelt there I was overcome for the first time by what Christ had gone through for me, for each of us. He knew about rejection; He was rejected by the whole world, even His Father. I was feeling rejected by one man; He had been rejected by all, including me.

I had never seen so clearly my sin and how much He was willing to suffer for me. This time as I sobbed over my brokenness, it was for far more than my marriage. Kneeling there I literally felt the arms of the loving God enfold me and gently remind me that He would never reject me.

That night Jesus became my Lord as well as my Savior. I still had a broken marriage, but for the first time I had hope. I knew I would never be forsaken by the One who loved me so dearly. No matter what happened to my marriage, I was going to be okay because I knew God would never leave me!

The Lord did a miracle that evening. He healed my heart! I truly became a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Gone was the manipulating, pleading, whiny, wife. I had a confidence that I would be fine as long as I had my Lord.

Shortly after this, the Lord did a work in my husband’s heart as well. We were able to salvage our broken marriage and will soon celebrate 37 years together.

I’ve asked God many times why our marriage was saved when so many others are not. I’ve come to the conclusion that while God does heal, He also allows both parties to choose whether they will submit to Him and let Him truly change them on the inside. Only then will He become the Lord of your life.

~Becky Towle

When Becky shared her story with me I pictured Jesus with a Mosiac. Let me explain.

I’m broken. You’re broken. Your husband, boyfriend…..all broken people. Whether we admit it or not, the truth is that we are not perfect (that’s a slightly less offensive way of saying we are all sinners….insert gasping noises here).

When two broken people come together to form a relationship, it’s as if both parties open their “baggage” and out spill the broken pieces of their lives.

Then, we take some glue (infatuation, lust, friendship, love, ) and glue our broken pieces together. It’s our crude attempt to join ourselves with another. The problem is that OUR glue isn’t strong enough.

Eventually our futile efforts at holding our marriage together don’t go unscathed. Pieces begin to fall off the mosaic and we become sick of gluing them back on over and over and over again.

Here’s where Jesus comes in……..did you know that Jesus asks us to give Him all of our broken pieces?

I pictured Jesus taking Becky’s broken pieces and her husband’s broken pieces and gluing them back together a better way – a stronger way. Jesus used Himself as the glue! He became the center of their individual lives and their marriage.

When we bring Jesus our broken pieces He can make something beautiful out of them. He can renew and repurpose your marriage. However, there is this little thing called free will.

What if your spouse doesn’t want to surrender their broken pieces?

It’s a choice. And in order for relationships and marriages to be saved, both parties need to willingly give their broken pieces. Not everyone does.

But know, that Jesus will always make something beautiful out of the pieces that we give Him.

I love that Becky shared how despite her marriage crumbling around her, when she brought her pieces to Jesus, she was filled with a hope and a peace and an assurance that things would be ok; whether her marriage survived or not.

That’s what happens when Jesus becomes the center of your life.

HOPE – JOY – PEACE – despite your circumstances and in the midst of the storm. Consider giving Him your broken pieces, He’s a really good craftsmen!

And speaking of crafts and mosaics….here’s a project my daughter Olivia and I did with some of our favorite fabric. It’s an old metal file box that we got at a thrift/antique store for $2. Then we just decoupaged with fabric. Now I can use it for anything and put it anywhere and have some of my favorite fabric in sight!