My college roommate died last week. She had a heart attack at the age of 45.
Missy was a crazy speak your mind and tell it like it is kind of person. I remember her telling me not to talk to her in the morning until after her shower.
One year, we went to K-Mart during the holidays and had goofy pictures taken with our red and green sweaters.
My favorite memory is when I returned back to my dorm late one night to find my side of the room cleared out with a sign pointing down the hall.
Missy had moved all my stuff to the study hall room on our floor and recreated my room there -just for fun.
It’s a bizarre feeling when someone is removed from your life due to death.
Even if we try to avoid it, there is something about death that reminds us of our own mortality.
There is no escaping it. We begin to take inventory of our life. Things come into hyper focus and everything else suddenly seems superficial, meaningless, not so important anymore.
Why?
Because you are wired for eternity. It’s a natural thought process because this is not your final destination.
We long for meaning to life beyond the dishes and corporate ladder.
Death and tragedy strip us down to our core – like stripping furniture.
We start to remove the layers (busy schedules, to-do list’s, career advancement)Â that hide what’s at our core.
Layers that have been damaged, worn out, in need of renewal and a new purpose.
After a piece of furniture is stripped bare all that is left is the core. Simple – naked – vulnerable – awaiting a fresh coat of stain or paint and perhaps a repurposing. Functioning a little differently than before.
Thinking about death strips us down to our core of what really matters. We have a renewed sense of what is truly important. More time with family and friends. Paring down of our activities. Suddenly getting that project done doesn’t seem so important anymore.
Death is bizarre. But it gets us thinking about who we are, why we are here and what’s to come.
This isn’t always a bad thing. In fact it’s natural. God created you that way. He created you to know Him. Not just know about Him – but to know Him personally.
Death reminds us that this place is temporal. It helps us determine and focus on what is truly important – love and relationships. Those are the only things that transcend into eternity. Â Perhaps that’s why we naturally default to the importance of those things when we are stripped down to our core?
The next time you take inventory of your life for whatever reasons, I hope that through the process you come out renewed and repurposed.
Till the next time,
Julie
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, Julie! Even through sadness you are so very encouraging and real … thanks for that! Love you!
Thanks friend!
I found your new store ad on a Vintage Furniture Facebook page, and I saw that you posted this website. I came here to see if you had any current pictures of furniture for sale, and the first thing I saw was this post. Shocked is an understatement….I am one of Missy’s “Indiana Cousins”!! I am quite a bit younger than her, so we did not grow up together, but when the family got together she was always loving on my babies and quick with a joke. I love the college room story….I am guessing that was Olivet?! Even in her death, she still cracks me up!! Thank you so much for sharing such wonderful memories of her.
Hi Cara – how amazing! What a small world. So happy that you found the post about your cousin. the last time we got together was in the summer of 2012. She was in Indy visiting some family – maybe you guys??
I know she’s with Jesus and that makes me happy!! I hope you can visit my booth in the Pendleton antique store. It’s in Treasures Old & New – the address is 132 West State Street. It’s right off 69 North, exit 219. I’m glad you were able to share this with your family too!
Julie, your blog was found by one of Missy’s cousins, who shared it with the rest of the family. You perfectly captured cousin Missy’s sense of humor. …I hadn’t heard these stories about her, but they absolutely ring true. The Christmas photo sounds like her kind of absurd. And when she stayed at my house the last time, she teased my 8 year old girl about not talking to her before breakfast, so she still wasn’t a morning person.
Thanks for remembering and sharing Missy’s unique spirit.
Cousin Jennifer
Hi Jen – I’m so glad that Cara forwarded this to you. thanks for your comments…it’s great to hear from Missy’s family.
Julie…thanks for your blog! You summed Missy up perfectly!! Glad she had such a good friend!
From her Kansas cousin…DeLynn
It’s been so neat to hear from Missy’s family! I wasn’t expecting that and it’s been a pleasant surprise. Thanks for your comment!